January 4, 2009

Inarticulate Idiots Prance about New York. Stupidity Ensues (Naturally).

I was hanging out in my parents house the other night while they were out, and having already watched my favorite holiday season films- Love Actually, Bridget Jones' Diary, and the Kiera Knightely version of Pride and Prejudice- which I suppose isn't a holiday film, but it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling like i've been dipped in a tub of cocoa- anyway, I realized that there were no new recordings on my PVR. To my chagrin, I was forced to turn to "regular tv", and happened upon the new MTV show "The City". I was initially excited about this show, an avid reader of the now defunct "Socialite Rank", I had greedily followed Olivia Palermo's every move (read: gaffe), and was excited to observe the kind of shit she would pull on "The City". After watching approximately 43 seconds of this new "reality show", I decided that the only way I would watch one more second of this crap was if Jack Bauer entered my parents Rockcliffe home, drugged me, tied me to a chair (this isn't going anywhere kinky) and pried my eyelids open with those Clockwork Orange-esque torture devices, and made me watch Olivia and Whitney dandily prance about The Village. Let me put my opinion in context for you: I enjoy the occasional chick flick, I read at least three gossip blogs everyday, and will gleefully pick up US weekly's "Stars- the Cellulite Issue" while I'm having a pedicure. But The City, I will not watch. I cannot watch. I've gathered that the topics discussed on the show in question are very similar to another show set in New York, Sex in the City. Clearly, MTV's "The City" is supposed to be this generation's answer to Sex and the City- beautiful young women living in New York involved in fashion/PR-ish careers, struggling with figuring out relationships with lovers, new friends, old friends... I realize that if Carrie et al were real people, and if SATC was in fact a reality show it would not have been as poetic, or eloquent. However, I do lament that young people today have Whitney, Olivia, Lauren and Heidi, and not Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte and Carrie. And with that, I would like to leave you with some clearly unscripted "dialogue" between Olivia Palermo and Whitney

W: I really like him, but like I don't know.......
O: Ya....definitely
W: But like really, it's hard because I haven't been in this situation
O: Totally....but like...you like him so...
W: Ya...um. [laughs]
O: Well I'm sure it will be fine
W: Ya...like I was talking to Lauren...I don't know..
O: Right. Exactly. It's hard.
W: Ya...definitely...

Scene fades.
Cue music by groovy pop synch band that you haven't heard of.

My point. Don't waste your time. Please.

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