"we'll jam your tight end"

This is a letter I wrote to the coach of Queen's University in the spring of 2007:


Coach Sheahan,

I am a fourth year Queen's student, not a particularly vocal Queer or Feminist activist and by no means someone who is easily offended by obnoxious t-shirts. A friend on mine, however, just told me that the university has sponsored t-shirts for this year's football team which read: "we'll jam your tight end" and "we cover it up and force it inside."

I think that these very clever slogans must be lost on me, since my knowledge of football terminology is a bit rusty. If these innuendos are meant to be misogynistic, insinuating that a woman is to be the object of this explicit and violent sexuality, then I believe they are not only tasteless, but also witless, juvenile and shameful. They insult the intelligence of the members of your football club and the sensibility of the academic environment this university is trying to cultivate.

However, if these slogans are meant to insinuate homoeroticism,implying that the object of these actions are other men, or even the other members of the football team, then I would like to commend your club on its effort towards a forward and outright Queer advocacy. I only wish that your shirts would not purport such a violent homosexuality, which I do not think is necessary in order to raise your progressive point.

For some reason, though, I think these slogans fall into the former category and I will actively pursue any motion against the Queen's football team for its clear and crass violation of basic human rights.

Sincerely,
E.R. Wexler