April 4, 2010

The Mothering Equivalent of a One-Night Stand.

I am going to start a business. I am going to rent children to childless women for the night so that they can mother them and get it out of their system. Easy there - I'm not saying all women need to mother. That would like saying ALL men need to go to prostitutes. I, however, need to get some mothering out of me every once in a while.

Last week, one of my best friends and I took her 12-year-old cousin to see the new Rob Pattinson movie, "Remember Me." It was a dreadful movie, but I had a fantastic night. Why? Because my friend and I got to listen to a little girl talk about middle-school and give her advice about dealing with playground politics for 6 hours. We held her hand, we bought her movie ticket and we got her a snack. It was like having a child - for a night. The next day, I was not a mommy but my maternal craving was sated. Awesome!

Now, I do want kids one day, but I don't want a kid EVERY day right now. It's like when you don't want to be in a relationship, but you have a craving for sex, so you have a one-night stand. Yep, this night with my friend and her little cousin was the mothering equivalent of a one-night-stand. I got to help take care of an adorable and intelligent little girl for an evening of A-14 cinematic fun, but I didn't have to nag her to do her homework the night day. I think there are women who would pay to rent kids like this. I will start this service; it will make me rich.

1 comment:

colette said...

funny, i've been thinking about the exact same thing recently. i see so many babies and cute kids at my work and just want to borrow them for a little while! i'll definitely be a good customer for your business!!!