March 21, 2010

The Three-Way Relationship Test

Lots of people have lots of tests to determine if your relationship will be success. They ask if you have the same political beliefs, if you're "compatible heights," or if you both want to live in the same types of neighbourhood one day. Sure, having the same morals and lifestyle preferences is nice and all, but at least in the heterosexual dating scene, one thing I've noticed is very telling is the "threesome test." What does this mean? It means, is there any woman out there he's attracted to that you are too, with whom you could have a threesome? If none of his girl crushes are yours, it's a no-go.

Let me explain. My girl-crushes are often girls I admire. They have traits I feel on some narcissistic level that I embody, or WISH I COULD embody. I love Kate Winslet because she's so body-confident and is really good at her craft (She has, like a million Oscar nominations). I love Leighton Meester because she's not one of those teen idols who pretends to be a goody-goody virgin to get ahead and because she takes risks with her fashion choices. I think Carla Bruni's sexy because she seems to be a shit-disturber. I also love Maryl Streep because she's talented and seems super modest, nice and gracious. I could name other ladies I find sexy, but the point is, if a guy doesn't have the same taste in girls as you do, you should wonder what he sees in you. Does he like the qualities in yourself that you want to be loved for? If you couldn't coordinate a real-life threesome (or a fantasy one, for that matter. Come on, where am I gonna meet Maryl Streep?), then maybe it's not going to last.

I can get down with a guy who likes a Nathalie Portman or a Christina Hendricks, but if you're dating a guy who wants to f-ck Lauren Conrad or Megan Fox, all I'm saying is that maybe that's a sign he's not "the one", if you know what I mean?

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