November 3, 2009

The Gossip Girl Feminist Index

Wow, Gossip Girl certianly has picked up some steam. This week's episode was very good. i like it when Gossip Girl gets all "political" and shit. On to the index!

Plus five points to Serena for attempting to be the bigger person and make up with Blair by suggesting a latte run when she runs into her outside Olivia's dorm room. Now, Serena's impulse to be the bigger person didn't last long, but the fact that she had this impulse at all deserves some points.

Minus 5 points to Blair for turning down Serena's latte offer. It's not high school. Just make up already!

Minus twenty points to Serena for publicly mocking Brandeis, a call girl who is just trying to network and do her job and has done absolutely NOTHING to Serena. Since when are call girls not worthy of respect? Unlike Serena's drunken disaster of a date, Brandeis was being subtle and everyone she was targetting seemed to like her overtures. Ugh! Treating people without dignity is NOT feminist-sexy. Serena, you're a billionaire, but not everyone was born that way. If some people are going to put themselves through private colleges and wear nice clothes, they need to make the money themselves. Work isn't a game for everyone like it is for you. Looking down on a sex worker and having her kicked out of a party she was doing nothing to disturb IS NOT COOL. Is money supposed to be a commodity reserved for people lucky enough to have been born with it, Serena? Is everyone who has to work to wear Louboutins therefore less of a person?

Minus five points to Blair for calling Serena a prostitute and meaning it as an insult. Ugh! What is with these girls and their denigration of sex workers?

Plus fiften points to Chuck for telling Serena that she and Blair basically both need to grow up and stop being so catty to each other or risk losing their friendship with each other forever. Chuck is the only character who seems to have matured and realized that THIS IS NOT HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE. Everyone needs to grown up and treat each other with RESPECT.

Plus ten points to Blair for actually having a cool reaction when Brandeis eventually comes out to her as a sex worker near the end of the episode. When Blair hears Brandeis's logic (that she needs the sex work money to pay for tuition and couture), she doesn't really judge her for it and is surprisingly accepting. The only reason Blair de-friends Brandeis in the end is that she finds out Brandeis was really just using her to meet new clients, and didn't really seem to care about hanging out with Blair at all that night.

Plus ten points to Nate for taking the fall and pretending he had staged Tripp's rescue of that dude who was faking drowning on election day. Now Tripp is innocent and NO ONE suspects otherwise. Sure, Nate had to lie, but let's face it, he didn't have a brilliant political future ahead of him, anyway, and he helped what seems like a good and honourable candidate win without scandal.

Minus five points to Tripp's crazy wife for staging the drowning incident. I would deduct more, but bitch is crazy and can't be held accountable. Plus, I think the show is going to make an example of her. I think we're SUPPOSED to hate her. She's not getting away with anything, because it seems like Kharma is going to be a bitch; We ended the episode with Tripp staring at Serena's cleavage in a private bar area. You CANNOT tell me he is not going to tap that shit.

Overall score: Plus 5.

General Comments:

Now, the whole plot that's unfolding where Blair and Serena's friendship is in crisis surprised me because, frankly, I had forgotten they were best friends. Their chemistry is just so unbelievably bad. They have nothing in common, either, besides the fact that they are both hot and rich, but is that really enough to make us believe that they have been friends for 15 years? I don't care if they stay friends. It's boooring!

Now, on to Chuck and Blair. Why aren't they f-cking? For serious, they need to get it on. I am sick of watching them spooning in bed with their clothes ON! They are a couple after two long season apart. Could they please take advantage of it and have sex once in a while? We saw more groping from these two last season when they WEREN'T officially an item. CHAIR softcore porn is one of the reasons this show became such a cult success in the first place. Do you remember that scene from the finale where Blair is stripping for Chuck and asking him what he thinks of each article of her clothing as she removes it? Do you remember how isanely hot that was? Yeah, I watched that scene like 7 times. I want me some more of THAT this season.

Also, I LOVE that it looks like Tripp is Serena's new love interest. That is brilliant! First off, Tripp is super cute, so he's good eye candy. Secondly, Serena being embroiled in a political scandal is a GREAT plot twist. Serena is EXACTLY the kind of girl you cheat on your fucking crazy frigid WASP wife with. I mean, you certainly don't take Serena and her super low-cut, short-skirted dresses home to mom, but if you want secret quickie sex in the back of your bullet-proof town car en route to JFK for your 8 am shuttle to D.C., she's your girl! Serena makes good shame sex, it's true. I'm not being mean, either. I'm not saying these guys SHOULD be ashamed to take a girl who is comfortable with her body and showing it off at every corner home to mom, but Tripp clearly is, or he wouldn't have married that evil girl whose ONLY redeeming factor seems to be that she totally LOOKS sweet. WASP marriage practices are complicated. Most WASPs would understand Tripp's choice of bride, even though I doubt it makes any sense to normal people. Serena was right to quit her job. I mean, not only does she not need it because she has family money, but it also looks like she's about to start a very long and profitable career as a mistress!

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