Today, I was reading people magazine during my office hour, because none of my students came to see me. In it, I found a truly bizarre celebrity news item; Emmy Rossum and Adam Duritz are dating! He is 45 and she is 23. He has crazy dread hair and she has Victorian ringlet hair half the time. He has lots of facial hair and she looks like she wouldn't know what to do with facial hair. He is a singer for a lameass cheesy rock group and she is in lameass cheesy movies - Wait, no, I change my mind. They are PERFECT for each other! They should get married and have really lame, cheesy babies with names like "Finn" and "Harmony."
Anyway, enjoy that piece of Gossip. The cloying Emmy Rossum has found herself "accidentally in love." When the only rock star you can fuck is one whose last big hit was on the Shrek 2 soundtrack, you know it's time to call it a day, Emmy. Accept defeat. Find a real job or marry some type of banker or New York-based brain surgeon.