August 4, 2009

I Hate Diet Ads

I am sick of diet ads being everywhere! Really, really sick of it. They're on facebook (This is how I found out facebook racially profiles their already gender-targeted ads, because the ad that I kept getting was "the Kim Kardashian Diet." NB. Facebook, I do not need a diet to ensure that all my weight goes to my breasts and my ass. It happens already without any intervention from the outside world). Diet ads ruin my day and make me not want to go to Laineygossip.com, because I wish she'd get some different sponsors, instead of these people who ask me if I want to know how Victoria Beckham lost 30 pounds? I don't need to read your article about your product, because I know the truth: Victoria Beckham doesn't eat! She's honest about that, in fact. She doesn't pretend to eat. She told Barbara Walters on tv that she will never ever have even a single cookie, and it is well-documented that when she goes to restaurants the only thing she'll have is steamed vegetables.

Recently, I have lost a bit of weight. I lost it quite unintentionally. I have been working on my thesis and too busy to make meals, and so I haven't been eating that much. I lose weight when I don't eat much and continue to burn calories. It's not rocket science. Please don't insult my intelligence with your ads that pretend there is some better way I don't know about. These ads all seem to bank on the assumption that women are gullible. That we are so irrational we will believe this crap. But then, again, the media makes it clear that losing weight is every woman's primary job, so I guess it makes sense we are eventually willing to try ANYTHING. If all these ads weren't bad enough, US weekly has an issue every other week about how to "get a bikini body." Question: What if I don't wear bikinis? They are too risky for my taste. I don't like wardrobe malfunctions. Am I exempt from trying the "5-Factor Diet" or eating Acai berries?

How thin is thin enough? Some people are naturally skinny, true, but for everyone else, do we have to stop eating full stop to be considered an acceptable size? Some people are naturally curvy. That is me. I work out 5 times a week and while I certainly don't starve myself by any means, I mostly eat pretty well and in moderation. Having said that, I am capable of losing a little weight without going on a starvation diet, but mostly that's the only way I could lose it. I work out five times a week and have been known to climb mountains for sometimes for fun, but my breasts still insist on being so bountiful I can't shop for undergarments in normal stores. That's just me. So stop showing me ads about "how to lose the last ten pounds." I can't lose them - because they're called my "curves."

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