May 5, 2009

Gossip Girl Feminist Index - The Wrath of Con

Okay, OMGG! What a scary episode! Also, I love the word focialite. Let's use it all the time, shall we?

- Plus ten points to Serena for not letting Poppy off the hook. Poppy SHOULD have to pay.

- Minus 10 points to Lilly for setting up the sketchy trust fund for Rufus. I mean, Lilly, sure his pride is a bit over the top, but do you really have to run the world and deceive everyone with your money? Could you maybe give your excess wealth to real charities and just let Dan accept his fate of going to NYU with the rest of the cast so the show doesn't have to move out of New York?

- Plus five points to Blair for calling G. on her Jesus-happy bullshit. G. didn't go all Jesus Camp on us for reals. Of course not! This is why Blair is the smart one - she sees that!

- Plus 15 points to Blair for demanding Chuck answer her question or leave her alone. He should just admit he loves her or let her try to be happy with somebody else, that's true. Still, why did he have to be all fucking tortured with his whole "nobody is as unhappy as me" speech and subsequent lie that she's all a "game". Also, if he wanted to let Blair down easy by lying about being in love with her because he was convinced he couldn't make her happy, why did he tell Serena exactly that? Who the fuck tells a girl's best friend that he's in love with said girl but just doesn't want to hurt her? Of course best friend is going to blab! Is Chuck dumb? I never thought so before, but now I think he might be.

- Plus ten points to Blair for telling Nate she doesn't want to live with him, risking losing him in the process, then commanding him to ask her to prom. Way to be assertive!

- Minus ten points to Lilly for having her daughter arrested. How fucking EVIL do you have to be? You give your daughter a priceless family heirloom and then send her to jail pretending she's stolen it? Bitch, please, you are one bad mother. Also, why couldn't the others bail Serena out? They have money, and surely there's bail for something like stealing a watch! Am confused. Is it that they need a grown up to bail her out? Well, Blair's 18, so can't she do it? Or Rufus? It's totally gonna be Rufus who saves Serena on the next episode, I know it.

Overall score: Plus 20.

Further musings. I predict someone's pregnant. I predict, Vanessa is pregnant with either Chuck or Nate's baby. She'll be all confused about whose it is, but both guys are in love with Blair, so it will create the best love quadrangle EVER! Also, this will facilitate it coming to light that Chuck and V. did the nasty. While I love Chuck and Blair together, and while all signs point to a reunion for them on the season finale, their impossible love is what keeps the show going. They're going to have to face a complication of some sort. Not only that, but like, when are we going to deal with the fact that Blair totally slept with Chuck's uncle? And what the hell happened between Serena and that dude who's dating Leighton Meester in real life in Santorini? Serena should just never go to Europe. Nothing good comes of it any time she's there...

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