February 15, 2009

My Valentine's Day

I just had the most epic Valentine's Day of my life that ended in me offering to marry my friend's 31 year old brother for his last name and drinking authentic absinthe at 4 am. What did you do? My guess is nothing quite that crazy, and that's probably for the best...Anyway, the actual purpose of this post is to discuss the new film "He's Just Not That Into You."

I have read the book by Greg Behrendt. My brother gave it to me for Christmas 3 years ago. It was kind of a cruel gift, but at the same time, it was useful. Greg didn't tell me anything I didn't already know about men, but he said it in a nice, funny way that made me WANT to face it. No, if he doesn't call me, he isn't into me. If he doesn't want to date me, he isn't into me. If he only calls or dates me while completely wasted, he doesn't like me that much, either. Yay for the truth! So, on Valentine's Day, when all my friends and I going through dating phases right now, not long-term relationship phases, we thought the film adaptation would be perfect! We saw it after going to a Michelin-rated restaurant but before consuming 8 pitchers of sangria between 5 people and playing "Never Have I Ever" at the incredibly classy bar, Cuba Libre in Islington.

"He's Just Not that Into You" Was NOT like the book. Greg doesn't lie. He doesn't delude. He doesn't sugar-coat. And yet this movie had so many instances where guys who so weren't into girls BECOME into them. The explanation given? "You're my exception!" As in, you're not the rule. Forget the rules. But no! The first three quarters of the movie is like the self-help book, designed to make women realize romantic comedies where the guy doesn't like you at first and then marries you are BULLSHIT. But then the happy ending is produced not through our protagonist GiGi finding a guy who actually treats her well from the beginning, but leaving him for a prick who decides he wants her only after stringing her along for weeks and humiliating her, too. Why must Hollywood do this? Even when adapting a movie like "He's Just NOT that Into You" they have to rewrite it to make it completely unrealistic.

Could Hollywood please stop making such condescending movies made to play into my hope that I AM the exception. After the movie, all my friends checked their phones for missed calls from guys who'd treated us like shit in the past few months. No one had one. Maybe there are exceptions, but I've never met one....Anyway, thanks to the boys for seeing it with us! They thought their masculinity might be threatened by the film, but as far as I know, they still have penises, so it's all good, right?

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