January 14, 2009

Just Say No!

I have noticed that a lot of my friends lately have been dating men they don't like, but calling them anyway or getting together with said men when they are called by them. Why? Why? Why? I mean, it's not like I myself have never done this, but even when I myself have done this, I've never understood why I was doing it. If you don't like someone, why date him? Is it not better to spend time being single that spending it with a guy who abandons you in a dangerous neighbourhood alone on a Saturday night or bores you to fucking tears? I'm actually not sure. Objectively it should be, but compulsory heterosexuality is a strong discourse. It can make you feel you need a man, or at least need one to want you at all times, and so we court men we don't like even when we don't like them to get that validation. That's my theory, anyway.

My other problem is I HATE breaking up with people. I think a lot of girls have that problem. My aunt was so overly nice when she was around my age that she accepted a marriage proposal because she didn't want to hurt a man's feelings. Needless to say, she ended up divorced. I'm sure she'd tell you that in her experience, it's better to be alone than in a relationship you don't want, because, eventually, but only once it became legally very difficult to get out of, she realized she needed to escape that relationship. She got out, but she would have saved so much time (and a shitload in legal fees), if she had just said no. Sure she would have hurt the guy's feelings in the short-term, but getting turned down for a marriage proposal is a hell of a lot better than your wife walking out on you after a few years of marriage....

So, self-identified heterosexual ladies out there, when we don't want, let's just say no, shall we?

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