October 17, 2008

Why I let Men Pay when they offer...

I never used to let men pay for me when they offered to do so, but now I do. Why? Because it's only fair. It's the redistribution of wealth that hasn't been distributed very evenly or fairly at all in our economic system in the first place. So, your average woman in North America makes 75 cents on the dollar for what your average man makes. So, really, why should I pay for dinner on a date or a drink when I'm out with a guy friend at a bar? His male privilege gives him better cash flow; whereas my gender makes me earn less. Hell yeah, he should pay.

I don't believe in the argument that if we want to make equal amounts of money, then we need to stop taking hand-outs from men who want to buy us meals as a necessary precondition of that happening. You know why? Why should I suffer even more when I still make less? Give me my extra 25% of my income and I will gladly pay my own way all the frickin' time; however, until that day, I am not going to turn down free thai food when my income is less than a man's, my dry-cleaning costs more than a man's and I still have to find some way to pay for living expenses and the bloody birth control methods I need that aren't covered by OHIP! I also don't buy into that bullshit that accepting dinner makes me obligated to have sex with someone, and now that Canadian date rape laws agree, it's less likely that a guy will tell me I owe him because he bought me a coffee. In fact, most of my guy friends or dates who pay for something for me know my belief that it's unfair women make less than men. They know I'm not accepting the gift because I am a traditional girl who wants to be protected. My very reason for taking these gifts is WANTING equality and rebelling against the fact that I really, really don't have it! They are funding a subversive act - they're funding feminism! So, yes, belle hooks was right, men really are our "comrades in struggle."

Men used to pay for everything back in the day because women had NO MONEY and they wanted to impress them by proving they themselves had SOME. Well, times haven't changed too much in essence, because chicks still earn less for doing the same amount of labour as men do, so letting a guy buy me dinner is not anachronistic. Sure, I have my OWN MONEY NOW, but it's not enough simply because whatever I make, it's not as much as I would make if I had a penis. One of my current radical feminists acts of rebellion is doing everything I personally can do to even out this income disparity between me and men who do similar work and have similar qualifications but earn more, or are likely to earn more as soon as they start their careers, because they are guys. As long as there is male privilege left in our society, I think good, profeminist men have a duty to share the fruits of their arbitrary advantages in life. No, that doesn't mean they should pay for everything ALL THE TIME, but it means that when they offer, I don't say no....

No comments: