August 17, 2008

Phelps

Olympics Boycott, Day Ten.

I love Michael Phelps. He is hot and he can swim. The only thing is, I couldn't watch him swim. Nope. Not allowed. I saw his mug on the front page of every newspaper, heard people gush about him at the water cooler at my summer job, and even listened to my mother and sister cheering him on frantically Friday night while hiding upstairs in my room, but I never got to see him do his thang....

Michael Phelps is so gracious in interviews(my mom tells me)and his goofy wide grin makes me swoon. He's such a nice polite boy you'd think he was Canadian! Oh, and by the way, Superfish, if you yourself happen to be reading this, I'm 22, single and perfect for you! My brother learned how to swim at 18 months old, so if we combined your gold-medal winning swim genes with the raw talent lurking in mine, I'm sure we could spawn a complete Olympic swim team of our own! I'll even let them swim for America like you (unless a country sponsoring genocide is hosting the games again. In which case, I hope our kids boycott like I'm doing now).

It's the moments like Michael Phelps winning more golds than any other athlete has ever won in a single games that make this boycott hard. I love history, and the opportunity to witness an historical moment is sort of what I live for. Watching Michael Phelps at the Beijing Olympics is a little bit like a "Moon Landing moment" your kids will ask you about. These moments unite us as a society, giving us shared experiences that are bigger than our individual lives and link us to other people who watched whom we've never even met. The only thing is, when my kids ask me where I was when their dad won all those golds, I'm going to have to say I was either out partying to excess to distract myself or hung-over from said excessive debauchery, upstairs in my room, reading a Marion Keyes novel.

This boycott is hard. But what I keep having to remember is that the moment in history I would love to witness far more than an incredibly cute man acheiving his personal best in a rediculously expensive, technologically advanced, space-age swim suit, is a time when the children in Darfur have enough personal safety and security to walk down their own streets to go to school without fear....

The father of my future children seems like a nice guy - I'm sure he'll understand that....

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